I'm dating an Italian and she said this would “show solidarity for her heritage”

To the esteemed Pasta King Committee,

I've been a big fan of pasta since childhood. The buttered noodle started my, what I hope to be career defining, refined pasta palate. If crowned Pasta King, I believe that I can bridge the gaping chasm between "dinner" food and "anytime" food with the implementation of sweet pasta desserts and savory pasta smoothies. While I know these ideas may feel controversial, I trust that my desire to represent the gamut of pastas throughout the realm will ultimately speak for my candidacy.

In humble servitude to the Pastas the Be,

Hannah

I am not only a proficient pasta producer, but also an extremely efficient eater. After 32 years of making (from scratch!) and consuming pasta in all shapes in sizes, with sauces of many flavors, I can confidently say my blood is at least 50% marinara - if not more. Who could be more suited to reign pasta supreme than a woman with no less than 17 unique and authentic family heirloom pasta recipes? Let them eat cake? No, let them eat cavatelli.

I am beautiful. I have a good soul.